While attending a recent tech conference, I set a goal for myself to write a presentation to give at conferences in the future. People tell me I’m a good storyteller, and I’m good with words. I’m even comfortable getting up in front of people. This is something I’ve wanted to do for some time, so now I’m going to make it happen.
I began brainstorming the steps I’d need to take to successfully reach this goal. I really think I’m on the right track.
My next goal is to find a conference that will have me as a speaker and speak there.
— Jason Rehmus ☠ (@SweatingCommas) April 26, 2014
Step one for my speaking goal: buy PowerPoint for my Mac.
Is this how this works? Is this a S. M. A. R. T. step?
— Jason Rehmus ☠ (@SweatingCommas) April 26, 2014
Step two for my speaking goal: buy a practice microphone. It’s got to be top of the line so I sound really, really good.
— Jason Rehmus ☠ (@SweatingCommas) April 26, 2014
Step three for my speaking goal: rent a hall & hire actors to sit in the audience & applaud at me. I’m sure their accolades will inspire me.
— Jason Rehmus ☠ (@SweatingCommas) April 26, 2014
Step four for my speaking goal: buy a smoke machine. This is self explanatory.
— Jason Rehmus ☠ (@SweatingCommas) April 26, 2014
@SweatingCommas Step five for my speaking goal: think of something to speak about.
Step five point five: plagiarize a presentation.
— Jason Rehmus ☠ (@SweatingCommas) April 26, 2014
Step six: “@toffer: @SweatingCommas don’t forget you need a rocking guitar riff to play when you walk on stage and grab the mic.”
— Jason Rehmus ☠ (@SweatingCommas) April 26, 2014
Step seven for my speaking goal: get Van Halen’s team to write a rider for me.
— Jason Rehmus ☠ (@SweatingCommas) April 26, 2014
Step eight for my speaking goal: hire an agent to find the swankiest conferences to speak at.
— Jason Rehmus ☠ (@SweatingCommas) April 29, 2014
Step nine for my speaking goal: find the right tailor for my bespoke suit.
— Jason Rehmus ☠ (@SweatingCommas) April 29, 2014
Step ten for my speaking goal: locate, hire, and stiff the best rock show poster designer in Seattle.
— Jason Rehmus ☠ (@SweatingCommas) April 29, 2014
Step eleven for my speaking goal: Spray. Tan.
— Jason Rehmus ☠ (@SweatingCommas) April 29, 2014
Step twelve of my speaking goal: sign endorsement deals with Rolex, MillerCoors, and Royal Caribbean cruises.
— Jason Rehmus ☠ (@SweatingCommas) April 29, 2014